Im learning new life lessons everyday... most occur when Im walking dogs. And Ive decided it's time to chronicle all these little bits of wisdom along the way. Who knows? Someone might find it to be helpful. So, here is the first installment of "Dog Walker Wisdom":
Lesson #1:
Random people wont bug you if you're singing to yourself.
Lately, I've become exceedingly frustrated, as my daily dog walks are accompanied by the constant "trailer park comments" from disgusting and horny passerbys. You know what I'm talking about, things like: "I like how you pick that up", "you and your dog look very healthy", and the all too popular, "daddy needs a walk too". Ill do my best to ignore them -- pull my hood over my head, stare right through em', or give them the look of death. But nothing seems to work. And the constant verbal garbage has made me really dread walking each day.
So, today, I started singing to myself. And it worked brilliantly. Not only does it help to keep the pace, but it also makes you look crazy. And crazy people don't get hit on as much. Today, I sang Stevie Wonder's "You are the sunshine of my life".. which initially had mixed results. However, I found if you add "bitch" after each sentence, it lessens the "sing-along" feel and gives you some edge.
Jackson Five's "Ill Be There" is on deck for tomorrow.
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3 comments:
You are too funny, a little bit of tourette syndrome is helpful at times. I am not making fun of the disease because it is a terrible problem but, people will stay away from you if you occasionally yell obscenities while singing.
so keep on walking and talking and stay safe.
HAHAHAHA!!! I LOVE IT!!!!!!
Great post. LMAO!! Hahahahaha!!
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