The other day, I brought a newspaper to the dog park, figuring I'd have time to read. When I got there, let Billy off his leash and sat down, I realized that watching the dogs was much more entertaining... and enlightening.
Im learning that, just like human society, subgroups also exist in the dog park:
The Prom Queen -
Doesn't have to be female, but there's usually only one of them. When this pup comes in, every single dog in the park takes notice. Our park has crowned Tasha, a middle-aged chocolate lab. Within seconds of her arrival, she's on her back, having her choice of sexual advances or rough housing. And, being the good sport that she is, she opts for everything. Last week, Billy "moved in" from behind, while a small, pit bull puppy (whose clearly just learning) made love to her upper back. Owners of these types of dogs are usually pretty understanding.
The Show Offs -
A direct reflection of their owners. On command, these dogs are jumping to ridiculous heights, running and fetching obscure objects and usually fluent in 2-3 languages. Its obnoxious. And the worst thing to do is stare in awe at this miracle-of-a-dog as their owners adjust their smaller-than-normal genitals.
The Tease -
Just as you'd expect, these little pischers are the ones making eyes, bending over and licking themselves.... But as soon as another dog tries to move forward with their relationship, you hear this deep-seeded, guttural growl that you could have sworn sounded like, "oh hell no".
The Philosophers -
The one or two pups who enter the park and go off to a desolate area to reflect. Yes, they'll let you pet them if you come over, but they aren't willing to get up. And the other dogs know not to bug them while they're in deep meditation.
The Posers -
These guys are typically small in stature, and come in barking to high hell. But, when another (usually larger) pooch takes notice, these little dogs freak out, jump onto the nearest table and bark from there. Clearly, they respectfully want to avoid embarrassing the other dogs with the "hard core beat down" that they would have let loose.
The Sluts -
From the get-go, these pups are casing the park for Grade A Prime Choice meat. These horny little buggers force themselves on most any unfortunate pooch that comes their way. They are the ones that would probably be doing drugs if given the opportunity.
The Intellectuals -
You would find these dogs slowly walking around the park with their noses to the ground - clearly picking up samples of data for some sort of ethnographic study. You cant get their attention, as they are extremely determined. These guys usually don't stay long as they bore easily and only urinate in order to increase levels of acidity. They'll probably go home, sip mineral water and subtly tap their tail to Miles Davis.
Sitting there, watching the mini-society unfold before me, Ive started to draw correlations between those dogs and people I know (or hear about) in real life. All of us know a Prom Queen, a Philosopher and a Slut (I happen to know many). Seeing these dogs interact at the same level that we all do, tends to put things in perspective. With all the subgroups that society has formed, Im struggling with being OK in the grey area: Undefined, but learning more about myself every day. All that matters in life, is being a good person, and holding yourself to the same moral standards you set among others.
Fizzy is a slut, Tasha is a Prom Queen... and Im not judging them. Because at least they "own" it, and are proudly living their title to the fullest.
Saturday, September 30, 2006
Tuesday, September 26, 2006
Lazy Daze
All right, now that I’m a bonafide dog walker, I spend a lot of time amongst the little pischers ... apparently, completely unbeknownst to them. Seriously, Billy LOVES me when I get to his apt.. when we're walking down the street, or when I’m scratching his back. But when I get to that dog park, its like I’m the embarrassing mother yelling after him "Remember to wipe!" as he runs off with his friends.
His memory of my loyal and faithful friendship miraculously comes back when I run over to stop him from humping, or if I have treats. But other than that... I’m merely his hired help.
And its ok. I understand that Billy doesn’t always get the chance to romp and hump other dogs. I’m fine being the silent observer. Always watching in the background....Just trying to understand the mysteries of the canine world.
Not a day goes by when I don’t come across a dog-ism that I don’t quite understand. For example: there is this one hole, in the middle of the park, that the dogs take turns digging. When one dog is finished furiously scratching at the void of dirt, another runs in to take his place. Its like the dog park slut.. everyone has been all up in it. So what’s the deal? Is there something buried there? Is this a good form of exercise? not sure. Whatever it is, its extremely popular at the park. And I’m not.
And yet another mystery:
Fizzy, my French Bull dog client, has a drooling problem. Not the thin, liquid, dainty drool. No, I’m talking two strands of thick mucous forming on the corners of his mouth. Once the drool starts, it slowly accelerates into a long icicle- shaped mechanism that drags on the ground, picking up stray leaves and feathers. Its adorable. And the best part --there's no way to stop it. Its like those scary movies, where, if you try to kill something, it just mutates and multiples.
Yep.. same thing here. When I try to wipe it off, it just grows back, more powerful then ever before. Today, I wiped off a feather that had become attached to Fizzy's drool-tentacle. The next time I turned around, he was dragging a tennis shoe. Oh, and I got slimed in the process. But he doesn’t seem to mind! Not one bit. Even when he shakes the slime all over his face… He wears it as a badge of honor.
So, to those of you who thought the life of a dog walker is a glamorous one, full of manicured fingernails and fan mail. You’re completely mistaken. Yes, it’s a joy to behold - but a messy, sloppy, disgusting one... that Im extremely proud of.
His memory of my loyal and faithful friendship miraculously comes back when I run over to stop him from humping, or if I have treats. But other than that... I’m merely his hired help.
And its ok. I understand that Billy doesn’t always get the chance to romp and hump other dogs. I’m fine being the silent observer. Always watching in the background....Just trying to understand the mysteries of the canine world.
Not a day goes by when I don’t come across a dog-ism that I don’t quite understand. For example: there is this one hole, in the middle of the park, that the dogs take turns digging. When one dog is finished furiously scratching at the void of dirt, another runs in to take his place. Its like the dog park slut.. everyone has been all up in it. So what’s the deal? Is there something buried there? Is this a good form of exercise? not sure. Whatever it is, its extremely popular at the park. And I’m not.
And yet another mystery:
Fizzy, my French Bull dog client, has a drooling problem. Not the thin, liquid, dainty drool. No, I’m talking two strands of thick mucous forming on the corners of his mouth. Once the drool starts, it slowly accelerates into a long icicle- shaped mechanism that drags on the ground, picking up stray leaves and feathers. Its adorable. And the best part --there's no way to stop it. Its like those scary movies, where, if you try to kill something, it just mutates and multiples.
Yep.. same thing here. When I try to wipe it off, it just grows back, more powerful then ever before. Today, I wiped off a feather that had become attached to Fizzy's drool-tentacle. The next time I turned around, he was dragging a tennis shoe. Oh, and I got slimed in the process. But he doesn’t seem to mind! Not one bit. Even when he shakes the slime all over his face… He wears it as a badge of honor.
So, to those of you who thought the life of a dog walker is a glamorous one, full of manicured fingernails and fan mail. You’re completely mistaken. Yes, it’s a joy to behold - but a messy, sloppy, disgusting one... that Im extremely proud of.
Monday, September 25, 2006
Birthday Girl
There was a time, during my pre-teens, when I became very awkward. I got really into acting, didn't shower as much and donned big plastic glasses and head gear. I didn't date, omitted a pungent odor and was extremely, extremely skinny. So, it was no surprise when my dogs' birthdays rolled around, that I decided to throw them a party.
Tali (our lab-springer mix)'s birthday was Sept 25th and Leo (our lab-keeshond)'s was Oct 7th. Since there was only 12 days in between the special events, it was the perfect opportunity to celebrate. So, I picked a date and sent out about 15 invitations to the local dogs in the neighborhood. When most kids my age were experimenting with drugs or losing their virginity, I was creating individualized bandanas for each of my dogs' "friends".
Not to be outdone, I spent a lot of time on the details of the party. There were party bags, complete with pet trinkets and treats. I made a birthday cake by layering wet and dry dog food in an aluminum tin pan (and spelling out "Tali and Leo" in chicklet-shaped kibbles on top). And, of course, no party would be complete without the "guess how many pieces of dog food" jar.
The shindig was held at a local park two blocks away from my house and the turnout was wonderful (probably 20 people and 10 dogs). It seemed that everyone had a good time; The dogs got to run around with each other and eat the rice and lamb flavored bday cake, my dad videotaped from the sidelines and Tali and Leo seemed really happy.
The party almost became an annual event until Year Two, when a dog got pregnant. So, sadly, after that, we scrapped the idea. Without the structure of Tali and Leo's birthday patries, I was quickly lost. I spent the following years trying to perfect the dance scene from "Cant Buy me Love" and eventually decided to go through puberty.
Growing up, Ive always been a fan of the "dog birthday party". On May 10th each year, I used to come downstairs to Honey (our loyal Husky-Beagle-Poodle) sitting at the kitchen table, eating dog food out of a carved out grapefruit. Normally she wasnt allowed to sit at the table.. in fact, she probably would have been scolded. But on that day, her birthday, my mom would find a comfortable chair (with arms that stretched out touching the table) and place Honey in it, so that she could have a celebratory birthday breakfast.
No, we weren't obsessed with our dogs. We werent those owners who speak to their dog in a baby voice, lavish their fur with ridiculous bows and carry around pictures of them to show friends. We just loved our dogs...and looked at them as a member of the family.
So, when my client Billy (the "sexer") had his birthday this past Friday, I was more than excited to wrap up a bag of dog treats and a rope bone, slap on a bow and wish him a happy birthday. If nothing else, to show I care.
Today is the anniversary of Tali's birthday. She would have been 16 years old. Tali is one of the main reasons I was inspired to create my own dog walking company. I miss her every day.
Tali (our lab-springer mix)'s birthday was Sept 25th and Leo (our lab-keeshond)'s was Oct 7th. Since there was only 12 days in between the special events, it was the perfect opportunity to celebrate. So, I picked a date and sent out about 15 invitations to the local dogs in the neighborhood. When most kids my age were experimenting with drugs or losing their virginity, I was creating individualized bandanas for each of my dogs' "friends".
Not to be outdone, I spent a lot of time on the details of the party. There were party bags, complete with pet trinkets and treats. I made a birthday cake by layering wet and dry dog food in an aluminum tin pan (and spelling out "Tali and Leo" in chicklet-shaped kibbles on top). And, of course, no party would be complete without the "guess how many pieces of dog food" jar.
The shindig was held at a local park two blocks away from my house and the turnout was wonderful (probably 20 people and 10 dogs). It seemed that everyone had a good time; The dogs got to run around with each other and eat the rice and lamb flavored bday cake, my dad videotaped from the sidelines and Tali and Leo seemed really happy.
The party almost became an annual event until Year Two, when a dog got pregnant. So, sadly, after that, we scrapped the idea. Without the structure of Tali and Leo's birthday patries, I was quickly lost. I spent the following years trying to perfect the dance scene from "Cant Buy me Love" and eventually decided to go through puberty.
Growing up, Ive always been a fan of the "dog birthday party". On May 10th each year, I used to come downstairs to Honey (our loyal Husky-Beagle-Poodle) sitting at the kitchen table, eating dog food out of a carved out grapefruit. Normally she wasnt allowed to sit at the table.. in fact, she probably would have been scolded. But on that day, her birthday, my mom would find a comfortable chair (with arms that stretched out touching the table) and place Honey in it, so that she could have a celebratory birthday breakfast.
No, we weren't obsessed with our dogs. We werent those owners who speak to their dog in a baby voice, lavish their fur with ridiculous bows and carry around pictures of them to show friends. We just loved our dogs...and looked at them as a member of the family.
So, when my client Billy (the "sexer") had his birthday this past Friday, I was more than excited to wrap up a bag of dog treats and a rope bone, slap on a bow and wish him a happy birthday. If nothing else, to show I care.
Today is the anniversary of Tali's birthday. She would have been 16 years old. Tali is one of the main reasons I was inspired to create my own dog walking company. I miss her every day.
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
Crap.
Perfectly describes both the day I had, and what I stepped in.
Oddly enough the day didn’t start off too badly (— oh, before I move on, please note that the sarcasm level is at an all time high today... continue—) I got up at 5am in Minneapolis. Barely slept the night before after saying good bye to my terminally ill grandfather. (Probably one of the hardest things you'll ever have to do. Not just "goodbye". Goodbye Period. Horrible.)
Landed 30 minutes late, and watched the luggage revolver wind around for what seemed like hours before my jam-packed, too-large-for-carryon baggage finally rolled my way. And of course, it was buried under an awkward shaped pinkish-greenish Barbie-patterned bag, which was clearly used to camouflage the non-children-friendly contents; An obvious overabundance of some innocent child's mother's things. (I can only imagine the little girl's disappointment when she realized she was simply a pawn in her mother's ploy to stash hair gel, tooth paste, pliers and anything else prohibited from the airplane).
Once I was able to jimmy my bag from the mountain of crap (note: the theme) from which it was suffocating beneath, I ran outside to catch a cab. Please note, "jimmying a bag" consists of holding on to whatever appendage of the bag is within arms reach and laying on the ground hoping that as you’re being pulled around in a great circle, your leg or foot will at some point catch onto something on the floor and you will either come to a stop, or the bag will fall off the ramp. A mixture of the two happened.
I ran outside amidst a sea of cabby's — each hoping that I would be a foreigner and could, therefore, be weaseled into hitching a ride and paying a ridiculous fare — even more ridiculous than that of the jacked-up prices of the yellow cab that I was able to quickly wave down. (Maybe the only non-crap moment of the day).
Finally, I made it home. And by "finally", I mean after a 45-minute drive in bumper-to-bumper traffic. At this point there was no way I could make it to my first dog walking appointment. I had to call back up... which sucked as I was really looking forward to the adorable French Bull Dog awaiting me.
Once I got my bearings, I was able to haul ass to my second appointment: The highly popular (and sexually active), Billy, who today, was probably the horniest I’ve ever seen him (or any other non-human male). After awkwardly pulling him off about 5 dogs, I was able to bring him home and head uptown.
On the way, I got a nose bleed.
And then we come to the pinnacle of the story...the reason I began on this tirade in the first place. I stepped in crap. I knew it was bound to happen at some point, but not so soon. and not like this.
I walked into my client's swank east 80's apartment. The place is amazing — everything is polished and expensive, right down to the marble floors and unlocked doors. (Apparently, there's no need to lock your doors when you're really really rich. For me, my non-wealthy doors lock by themselves, and (in one case in particular) refused to budge until a neighbor was kind enough to open them with a credit card. Ahhh...Safety first.)
I sashayed through the front corridor (Its classier to sashay) and gently opened the kitchen door to find sweet little 4-month old Hannah excited and ready to go. I looked over my shoulder to see a stash of money Hannah's owner had left for me. Right beneath, on the floor below, lay a considerably large-sized deposit of dog poop. Unfortunately I didn’t see THAT, until I had walked over to grab the money and stepped right in it. In retrospect, the placement seemed a little too perfect. Almost planned out.
In any case, I stepped in crap. It was everywhere. It was disgusting. But damn my amazingly empathetic nature (and good looks), I couldn’t be upset with the little pischer. I just felt badly, cause you could tell she knew she did something wrong. And truthfully, its not her fault. If she could strap on her own leash, sashay out the door and walk herself, she would. She's just a little puppy and she's just learning the ropes.
So, I tucked my tail between my legs, cleaned up the floor and went on my way... hoping that tomorrow will be a little better.
Oddly enough the day didn’t start off too badly (— oh, before I move on, please note that the sarcasm level is at an all time high today... continue—) I got up at 5am in Minneapolis. Barely slept the night before after saying good bye to my terminally ill grandfather. (Probably one of the hardest things you'll ever have to do. Not just "goodbye". Goodbye Period. Horrible.)
Landed 30 minutes late, and watched the luggage revolver wind around for what seemed like hours before my jam-packed, too-large-for-carryon baggage finally rolled my way. And of course, it was buried under an awkward shaped pinkish-greenish Barbie-patterned bag, which was clearly used to camouflage the non-children-friendly contents; An obvious overabundance of some innocent child's mother's things. (I can only imagine the little girl's disappointment when she realized she was simply a pawn in her mother's ploy to stash hair gel, tooth paste, pliers and anything else prohibited from the airplane).
Once I was able to jimmy my bag from the mountain of crap (note: the theme) from which it was suffocating beneath, I ran outside to catch a cab. Please note, "jimmying a bag" consists of holding on to whatever appendage of the bag is within arms reach and laying on the ground hoping that as you’re being pulled around in a great circle, your leg or foot will at some point catch onto something on the floor and you will either come to a stop, or the bag will fall off the ramp. A mixture of the two happened.
I ran outside amidst a sea of cabby's — each hoping that I would be a foreigner and could, therefore, be weaseled into hitching a ride and paying a ridiculous fare — even more ridiculous than that of the jacked-up prices of the yellow cab that I was able to quickly wave down. (Maybe the only non-crap moment of the day).
Finally, I made it home. And by "finally", I mean after a 45-minute drive in bumper-to-bumper traffic. At this point there was no way I could make it to my first dog walking appointment. I had to call back up... which sucked as I was really looking forward to the adorable French Bull Dog awaiting me.
Once I got my bearings, I was able to haul ass to my second appointment: The highly popular (and sexually active), Billy, who today, was probably the horniest I’ve ever seen him (or any other non-human male). After awkwardly pulling him off about 5 dogs, I was able to bring him home and head uptown.
On the way, I got a nose bleed.
And then we come to the pinnacle of the story...the reason I began on this tirade in the first place. I stepped in crap. I knew it was bound to happen at some point, but not so soon. and not like this.
I walked into my client's swank east 80's apartment. The place is amazing — everything is polished and expensive, right down to the marble floors and unlocked doors. (Apparently, there's no need to lock your doors when you're really really rich. For me, my non-wealthy doors lock by themselves, and (in one case in particular) refused to budge until a neighbor was kind enough to open them with a credit card. Ahhh...Safety first.)
I sashayed through the front corridor (Its classier to sashay) and gently opened the kitchen door to find sweet little 4-month old Hannah excited and ready to go. I looked over my shoulder to see a stash of money Hannah's owner had left for me. Right beneath, on the floor below, lay a considerably large-sized deposit of dog poop. Unfortunately I didn’t see THAT, until I had walked over to grab the money and stepped right in it. In retrospect, the placement seemed a little too perfect. Almost planned out.
In any case, I stepped in crap. It was everywhere. It was disgusting. But damn my amazingly empathetic nature (and good looks), I couldn’t be upset with the little pischer. I just felt badly, cause you could tell she knew she did something wrong. And truthfully, its not her fault. If she could strap on her own leash, sashay out the door and walk herself, she would. She's just a little puppy and she's just learning the ropes.
So, I tucked my tail between my legs, cleaned up the floor and went on my way... hoping that tomorrow will be a little better.
Monday, September 11, 2006
Just Say No
When you're starting your own dog walking business (as i am).. and you need to take it where you can get it (not that way, pervert... Im talking clients).. when is it ok to say no?
I cant tell you how many times Ive been contacted by slightly "off" individuals asking for special treatment for their dogs.
Dont get me wrong, If a client needs an extra walk, maybe a brushing or a vet visit, I can comply.. but when they ask me to tip toe into their apt in the morning (while they are sleeping on the couch), gently rub down their three chihuahuas with baby wipes and chew-then-regurgitate mashed up cheerios into their little open mouths, Ive got to draw the line.
I know, I need to be excited and enthusiastic when a potential client calls... I need to show that Im willing to go above and beyond to ensure the care and well-being of dogs everywhere... but when does it stop being caring and start being creepy?
Yes, Im a dog walker. Yes, I pick up crap for a living...but I still have my pride.
I cant tell you how many times Ive been contacted by slightly "off" individuals asking for special treatment for their dogs.
Dont get me wrong, If a client needs an extra walk, maybe a brushing or a vet visit, I can comply.. but when they ask me to tip toe into their apt in the morning (while they are sleeping on the couch), gently rub down their three chihuahuas with baby wipes and chew-then-regurgitate mashed up cheerios into their little open mouths, Ive got to draw the line.
I know, I need to be excited and enthusiastic when a potential client calls... I need to show that Im willing to go above and beyond to ensure the care and well-being of dogs everywhere... but when does it stop being caring and start being creepy?
Yes, Im a dog walker. Yes, I pick up crap for a living...but I still have my pride.
Friday, September 08, 2006
Bad Dog
Word of mouth.
Apparently, no matter what your credentials or how your advertise, the only way to get your dog walking name out there, is through word of mouth. Who knew? Here I am pining away at advertising campaigns, website development, logos and press kits. And for what? Most of the people I meet with dont even care for the "About Us" folder I put together (detailing the Red Cross certification in Canine First Aid and CPR, my interest to go to school for Canine Rehabilitation Therapy, and the certificates of insurance and liability bonding through Pet Sitters International), nor do they care whether my logo is perfectly centered on the "Daily Report Card" I leave after each walk. In fact, one guy even told me he doesnt want any of it... just walk his dog and he'll be happy.
What Im saying is... maybe Im being too polished? But, after all my years in advertising -- learning how to sell (and upsell) the client -- how could I be anything but?
So, lets switch things up, shall we? No, I wont stop creating ads on Illustrator or discontinue my modifications to my website through Dreamweaver. But I will make my posters a little more gritty.. maybe a little tongue in cheek.. cause, hey.. it doesnt matter anyways, right?
So, here is the newest installment of New York Pooch Patrol ads. Let me know what you think. The campaign centers around the thought that while youre away, your dog gets into trouble.. serious trouble (drugs, sex and rock and roll). Thanks to my sister Jenny, who did the drawings, Ive put together the following "Idle Paws" campaign.. and will be posting them around the city this weekend. If nothing else.. to see what happens.
Apparently, no matter what your credentials or how your advertise, the only way to get your dog walking name out there, is through word of mouth. Who knew? Here I am pining away at advertising campaigns, website development, logos and press kits. And for what? Most of the people I meet with dont even care for the "About Us" folder I put together (detailing the Red Cross certification in Canine First Aid and CPR, my interest to go to school for Canine Rehabilitation Therapy, and the certificates of insurance and liability bonding through Pet Sitters International), nor do they care whether my logo is perfectly centered on the "Daily Report Card" I leave after each walk. In fact, one guy even told me he doesnt want any of it... just walk his dog and he'll be happy.
What Im saying is... maybe Im being too polished? But, after all my years in advertising -- learning how to sell (and upsell) the client -- how could I be anything but?
So, lets switch things up, shall we? No, I wont stop creating ads on Illustrator or discontinue my modifications to my website through Dreamweaver. But I will make my posters a little more gritty.. maybe a little tongue in cheek.. cause, hey.. it doesnt matter anyways, right?
So, here is the newest installment of New York Pooch Patrol ads. Let me know what you think. The campaign centers around the thought that while youre away, your dog gets into trouble.. serious trouble (drugs, sex and rock and roll). Thanks to my sister Jenny, who did the drawings, Ive put together the following "Idle Paws" campaign.. and will be posting them around the city this weekend. If nothing else.. to see what happens.
Wednesday, September 06, 2006
Sex and the Park
Ever since I moved to New York, the dog parks have been a weekly trip for me. When most people like to go to the museums, Central Park, work out, do yoga or hang out with friends, I tend to be drawn to watching dogs frolic with one another in a gated environment. Don't know what it is about the scene, but I find it to be adorable..and really funny. Dogs of all sizes flying through the air, landing sideways and rolling to a stop on the ground. Small dogs forgetting their size and pouncing full force on larger mutts -- the same dogs who, if they were encountered on the street, would cower in fear. But not at the dog park. Its like Myspace for canines: they get to reconnect with all their friends and there's no age requirement.
I've often stood outside the large black gates, with my head on my hands, imagining what it would be like to one day be the lucky owner who gets to sit inside. You know the one -- waving to his pooch, chatting it up with other owners, petting all the dogs... THAT is the life.
Well, ladies and gentleman, today... I made it into the park. Its true. I took one of my favorite clients, Billy, who happens to live right around the corner from Tompkins Square. Truthfully, I felt sort of like a fraud when I opened the heavy door and ushered Billy in. I felt like maybe they would figure out that I wasn't his owner, but instead, his humble dog walker. However, no sooner had I stepped inside, that tons of dogs started walking over to welcome us. Within a few minutes, everyone was coming up to me asking what type of dog he was, how long I had walked him and giving me high fives. It was kind of what I imagined my high school reunion would be like -- no one would know who I was, but they'd immediately think i was really cool.
It was a dream come true. I was completely in my element and surrounded by like-minded people and dogs abound. That is, until I turned around to see Billy leap off of the bench next to me and bound towards an unsuspecting Pitt Bull mix. At first, I didn’t think much of it -- I figured he was just going over to play with his new friend. But then I noticed the glazed over look in his eyes. The very same look often associated with the all-too-friendly construction workers in my neighborhood. Before I knew it, Billy had suctioned himself to the rear of this poor Pitt Bull (not that he wasnt asking for it).
They began to make love...in dog speak, we call it "humping". And for a dog walker, who was just experiencing her first time at the dog park, it was really awkward.
They don’t teach you how to handle such situations in dog walking school... do you go over there and try to reason with the dog? Do you find the other owner and apologize? Moreover, how does one go about making one dog stop "doing it" with another? No matter what the angle, its a very personal situation on all ends.
I was in a state of utter panic, and immediately ran over to Billy to try to get him to stop what he was doing. And he did (good dog!) only to run over and jump on another (this time, much larger) pup. I watched in horror as he maneuvered himself on top of this horse-of-a-dog. He was barely hanging on when I got over there and made him cease and desist. (I think I actually had to help him down).
It was then that I decided we should go. Not because I was upset with Billy (how could I be, he is adorable!), but because I was really embarrassed. On the way out, I ran into one of the slut-dog owners and apologized for Billy's impressive libido. The owner wasn’t upset, but instead told me something that will stay with me forever: "Dogs like to hump. That’s just what they do."
Thanks for the heads up.
I've often stood outside the large black gates, with my head on my hands, imagining what it would be like to one day be the lucky owner who gets to sit inside. You know the one -- waving to his pooch, chatting it up with other owners, petting all the dogs... THAT is the life.
Well, ladies and gentleman, today... I made it into the park. Its true. I took one of my favorite clients, Billy, who happens to live right around the corner from Tompkins Square. Truthfully, I felt sort of like a fraud when I opened the heavy door and ushered Billy in. I felt like maybe they would figure out that I wasn't his owner, but instead, his humble dog walker. However, no sooner had I stepped inside, that tons of dogs started walking over to welcome us. Within a few minutes, everyone was coming up to me asking what type of dog he was, how long I had walked him and giving me high fives. It was kind of what I imagined my high school reunion would be like -- no one would know who I was, but they'd immediately think i was really cool.
It was a dream come true. I was completely in my element and surrounded by like-minded people and dogs abound. That is, until I turned around to see Billy leap off of the bench next to me and bound towards an unsuspecting Pitt Bull mix. At first, I didn’t think much of it -- I figured he was just going over to play with his new friend. But then I noticed the glazed over look in his eyes. The very same look often associated with the all-too-friendly construction workers in my neighborhood. Before I knew it, Billy had suctioned himself to the rear of this poor Pitt Bull (not that he wasnt asking for it).
They began to make love...in dog speak, we call it "humping". And for a dog walker, who was just experiencing her first time at the dog park, it was really awkward.
They don’t teach you how to handle such situations in dog walking school... do you go over there and try to reason with the dog? Do you find the other owner and apologize? Moreover, how does one go about making one dog stop "doing it" with another? No matter what the angle, its a very personal situation on all ends.
I was in a state of utter panic, and immediately ran over to Billy to try to get him to stop what he was doing. And he did (good dog!) only to run over and jump on another (this time, much larger) pup. I watched in horror as he maneuvered himself on top of this horse-of-a-dog. He was barely hanging on when I got over there and made him cease and desist. (I think I actually had to help him down).
It was then that I decided we should go. Not because I was upset with Billy (how could I be, he is adorable!), but because I was really embarrassed. On the way out, I ran into one of the slut-dog owners and apologized for Billy's impressive libido. The owner wasn’t upset, but instead told me something that will stay with me forever: "Dogs like to hump. That’s just what they do."
Thanks for the heads up.
Tuesday, September 05, 2006
Bring It
My first day on the job... first day that I can no longer say: "I just quit my job in advertising and Im trying to form a dog walking company." Nope, now its just " Yeah, Im a dog walker" and I have to take the judgement and misunderstanding that goes along with it.
It's strange how many people feel it's their right to grace me with their opinion on what Im doing with my life. Especially those that wont look past their own misconceptions to realize that it could be a wonderful thing. Im going after something that I feel would make me happy.. something I think I deserve. And after three plus years in advertising.. why not go on an adventure?... I think I've earned it.
Most respond with a laugh when they hear that Ive given up my well-paying, suffocating, like-sucking, mind-numbing, corporate job to walk dogs. "Are you kidding? What are you really doing?" is the typical response. Once they realize that I am telling the truth, people usually assume that I didn't go to college or that Im some sort of trust fund baby taking the easy route.
Well guess what? Im neither.
I did, in fact, go to college (hey, I even graduated!), Im not being funded by my parents and most importantly, this isn't easy. Starting your own company, facilitating marketing strategies, creating and distributing advertisements (yeah, i had to learn Photoshop, inDesign and Illustrator), developing your own website (from scratch), figuring out fees/expenses and saving up money so that I would be able to do all this, was (no pun intended), not a walk in the park.
It's more than simply walking dogs (which, in itself, is an art). It's building a functioning business. It's being fully responsible for other living beings. And it's proving to myself that I don't need the corporate structure to run my life. I can be in charge... and be successful doing so.
So, to all you nay sayers out there: Bring it on... I guess Ill just have to prove you wrong.
It's strange how many people feel it's their right to grace me with their opinion on what Im doing with my life. Especially those that wont look past their own misconceptions to realize that it could be a wonderful thing. Im going after something that I feel would make me happy.. something I think I deserve. And after three plus years in advertising.. why not go on an adventure?... I think I've earned it.
Most respond with a laugh when they hear that Ive given up my well-paying, suffocating, like-sucking, mind-numbing, corporate job to walk dogs. "Are you kidding? What are you really doing?" is the typical response. Once they realize that I am telling the truth, people usually assume that I didn't go to college or that Im some sort of trust fund baby taking the easy route.
Well guess what? Im neither.
I did, in fact, go to college (hey, I even graduated!), Im not being funded by my parents and most importantly, this isn't easy. Starting your own company, facilitating marketing strategies, creating and distributing advertisements (yeah, i had to learn Photoshop, inDesign and Illustrator), developing your own website (from scratch), figuring out fees/expenses and saving up money so that I would be able to do all this, was (no pun intended), not a walk in the park.
It's more than simply walking dogs (which, in itself, is an art). It's building a functioning business. It's being fully responsible for other living beings. And it's proving to myself that I don't need the corporate structure to run my life. I can be in charge... and be successful doing so.
So, to all you nay sayers out there: Bring it on... I guess Ill just have to prove you wrong.
Sunday, September 03, 2006
Rolling with the Big Dogs
So what makes a good dog walker? The reason I ask, is because I had the rare opportunity today of interviewing someone for the job. He seemed cool enough -- a musician, who can play almost any instrument with his eyes closed and currently lives in Brooklyn Heights, or Park Slope or Queens. Truthfully, I dont recall -- anywhere outside of the constrains of Tribeca to 14th street seems like a blur to me.
He was pretty cool, and despite our differences in music, hairstyle, hygiene and clothes, I think we had a lot in common. In short, he was awesome. you know how sometimes you can just tell? You just get a feeling for someone? Thats how I felt with him.
Now, some of you may be asking: "why do you need another dog walker? arent YOU going to walk the dogs?" (others may be asking: "why would anyone write a blog about dog walking anyways?" and others may just be asking "whats for dinner?"). In any case, I need another dog walker so that I can branch out to other areas in the city (you know, those above 14th street) and become the best damn dog walking company ever. (which, at this rate, is a distinct possibility).
Oh, and Im meeting with a potential client tomorrow morning who lives way the hell on the upper west side (where? exactly.) so Im gonna need an adventurous (trustworthy, reliable and flexible) young squire to do my bidding when I wont be able to get up there.
So, for those eager apprentices, my requirements (in addition to those listed above)are... applicants must LOVE dogs. Just love em. So much so, that this isnt as much a job as the chance of a lifetime.. to get to hang out with dogs all day long. (Truthfully, thats why Im doing it). Secondly, Im gonna need some dog experience. you know, walkers, owners, groomers...what not. And lastly, they've got to be able to trek to the ends of the earth (above 23rd street). If youre reading this and feel like youre reading a page of your own diary... then we may have a match.
He was pretty cool, and despite our differences in music, hairstyle, hygiene and clothes, I think we had a lot in common. In short, he was awesome. you know how sometimes you can just tell? You just get a feeling for someone? Thats how I felt with him.
Now, some of you may be asking: "why do you need another dog walker? arent YOU going to walk the dogs?" (others may be asking: "why would anyone write a blog about dog walking anyways?" and others may just be asking "whats for dinner?"). In any case, I need another dog walker so that I can branch out to other areas in the city (you know, those above 14th street) and become the best damn dog walking company ever. (which, at this rate, is a distinct possibility).
Oh, and Im meeting with a potential client tomorrow morning who lives way the hell on the upper west side (where? exactly.) so Im gonna need an adventurous (trustworthy, reliable and flexible) young squire to do my bidding when I wont be able to get up there.
So, for those eager apprentices, my requirements (in addition to those listed above)are... applicants must LOVE dogs. Just love em. So much so, that this isnt as much a job as the chance of a lifetime.. to get to hang out with dogs all day long. (Truthfully, thats why Im doing it). Secondly, Im gonna need some dog experience. you know, walkers, owners, groomers...what not. And lastly, they've got to be able to trek to the ends of the earth (above 23rd street). If youre reading this and feel like youre reading a page of your own diary... then we may have a match.
Friday, September 01, 2006
A Touch of Honey
I was just a pea in my mother's belly when this story took place... but its a zinger.
My pregnant mom was at home one day, caring for my soon-to-be older sister, Becky (who was only 2 at the time), when there was a knock at the door. She cautiously peered out the window to find a pugish-looking man leading a pack of 10 little puppies. Apparently, he was going door-to-door to see if anyone was interested in adopting one. Its interesting how things work differently in midwestern towns. Here, if some random guy came to my door with puppies, I would probably assume he is homeless and asking me to convert. (I assume everyone who talks to me is). Its happened before.
Little Wendy looked down at the gaggle of pups and was drawn to the only completely black one. Labeled, as the man mentioned, a husky-beagle-poodle...which, oddly enough, we all completely accepted. Nowadays, this little puppy would, most likely, be called a "Husbeapoo" and range from $1000-1500. But back in the olden days (1980-1985) things were much simpler. Also, what the hell does a Husky-Beagle-Poodle look like? I can only imagine some blue-eyed, spotted, curly-haired, unicorn-type creature...In retrospect, not sure this guy was telling the truth.
Wendy (only roughly 30-ish herself) ran to the nearest phone to call my dad (a strapping young dentist working to build his practice) and discuss the life changing decision they had before them. And when all was said and done... we got a dog.
Although our little addition to the family was a foreign development for 2-year-old Becky (granted, not being able to release yourself into one's plastic underwear would also be labeled as such), this wasn't that new for my parents.
Mom had grown up with a couple of pure-bred mini poodles named Bijou and Jaime (pronounced "Zsa-mee" - the correct inflection was necessary if you wanted the little pischer to listen to you) in her upper class home on the lake. And dad, had raised a "friendly" little beagle named Missy whose whorish ways resulted in thirty bouncing bundles of joy (not at once.. through 4-5 litters). So, dad grew up with a constant stream of new puppies (and neighborhood gigolo-dogs coming to woo Missy while she was in heat).
Which brings me back to our newest member of the family...little soulful, dark eyes seeping out from her mane of black straight fur.. .she was a vision. The cutest puppy anyone had ever seen. I've only had three dogs in my life, and as you will soon find out, my two sisters and I would each get to name one. This one belonged to Becky. Well, didn't really belong to her, but Jenny and I weren't born yet and therefore weren't given the opportunity to strong-hold her. (although, we totally could have done it.)
For a bed-wetting, high-pitched, little, big sister, I gotta hand it to her. Becky earned her keep... naming our little dog "Honey" (after my dad's pet name for my mom). And because of this, I had the pleasure of being born into a family where our dog was a very present and positive force. I grew up feeling like this is what a home should be like. And I never forgot that.
My pregnant mom was at home one day, caring for my soon-to-be older sister, Becky (who was only 2 at the time), when there was a knock at the door. She cautiously peered out the window to find a pugish-looking man leading a pack of 10 little puppies. Apparently, he was going door-to-door to see if anyone was interested in adopting one. Its interesting how things work differently in midwestern towns. Here, if some random guy came to my door with puppies, I would probably assume he is homeless and asking me to convert. (I assume everyone who talks to me is). Its happened before.
Little Wendy looked down at the gaggle of pups and was drawn to the only completely black one. Labeled, as the man mentioned, a husky-beagle-poodle...which, oddly enough, we all completely accepted. Nowadays, this little puppy would, most likely, be called a "Husbeapoo" and range from $1000-1500. But back in the olden days (1980-1985) things were much simpler. Also, what the hell does a Husky-Beagle-Poodle look like? I can only imagine some blue-eyed, spotted, curly-haired, unicorn-type creature...In retrospect, not sure this guy was telling the truth.
Wendy (only roughly 30-ish herself) ran to the nearest phone to call my dad (a strapping young dentist working to build his practice) and discuss the life changing decision they had before them. And when all was said and done... we got a dog.
Although our little addition to the family was a foreign development for 2-year-old Becky (granted, not being able to release yourself into one's plastic underwear would also be labeled as such), this wasn't that new for my parents.
Mom had grown up with a couple of pure-bred mini poodles named Bijou and Jaime (pronounced "Zsa-mee" - the correct inflection was necessary if you wanted the little pischer to listen to you) in her upper class home on the lake. And dad, had raised a "friendly" little beagle named Missy whose whorish ways resulted in thirty bouncing bundles of joy (not at once.. through 4-5 litters). So, dad grew up with a constant stream of new puppies (and neighborhood gigolo-dogs coming to woo Missy while she was in heat).
Which brings me back to our newest member of the family...little soulful, dark eyes seeping out from her mane of black straight fur.. .she was a vision. The cutest puppy anyone had ever seen. I've only had three dogs in my life, and as you will soon find out, my two sisters and I would each get to name one. This one belonged to Becky. Well, didn't really belong to her, but Jenny and I weren't born yet and therefore weren't given the opportunity to strong-hold her. (although, we totally could have done it.)
For a bed-wetting, high-pitched, little, big sister, I gotta hand it to her. Becky earned her keep... naming our little dog "Honey" (after my dad's pet name for my mom). And because of this, I had the pleasure of being born into a family where our dog was a very present and positive force. I grew up feeling like this is what a home should be like. And I never forgot that.
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