Today, Clifford humped me in broad daylight. Thats right, in the middle of the day, on the busy, Chinatown sidewalk, 90-lbs-of-hunkin'-love took a running leap into my lower back and proceeded to vibrate to the high heavens. No, this isn't the first time Clifford hit on me, it was just the first time he couldn't wait until we got into the safe confines of his building elevator.
And since there were no elevator walls to bounce off of, I went flying (Im talking: arms and legs flailing) roughly 2 feet into the fish-tainted air, only to land face down in the street.
The worst part? Don't know if you've ever traveled to Chinatown... but it is probably the most convoluted area in the city: street vendors, tourists and inhabitants traverse the streets at a constant stream. Today, there were maybe 50 people walking by. And no one...NO ONE, stopped to help.
There I was, lying on the ground with a large, furry, man-dog attempting to rape me, and the most I got was one person who asked me to move.
Maybe I have too much faith in my fellow man. But, Ive always thought if I saw someone in need, I would do what I could to help. And a small girl being violated by Big-foot-in-dog-form, qualifies as such.
Are New Yorkers just completely desensitized? If the same thing had happened in Minneapolis, someone would have called the Fire Department and my harrowing ordeal would have been on the nightly news ("Local girl rescued from loins of neighborhood dog").
Not so, here. In New York, Ive got to fend for myself.
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6 comments:
well, speak of the devil. and a horny little devil at that!
Haha! you're absolutely right--in MN every passerby would have come to your rescue and you most certainly would have been on the 5 o'clock news. Why do we love NYC so much?! ;)
Oh, I've missed your posts - you always keep me laughing.
Sorry that Clifford tried to have his way with you. If I had been there, I would have helped. :-)
mmmmmm... Chinese food. Oh, and waaaaay too much faith in your fellow man.
Hey - hope the dogs haven't dragged you off? Where ya' been?
Clifford need to be "fixed". You poor thing,and no one helping you is terrible.
Cliffords owners need to take him to see the "Cesar Millan who claims to "Rehab dogs and train People".
good luck
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